


Silence of the rain

by atutsie



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, M/M, So yeah, because i eat suffering for breakfast, drinking a classy tea as i raise my pinky, prepare your heart, silence au-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8846215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atutsie/pseuds/atutsie
Summary: Just this night, he would succumb to silence, he would allow the noises to slip away.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldtuTqHnZZg
> 
> Listen to this song (Ame Ame Fure Fure) first before reading this fic. So you can enjoy it~ (Hah. yeah. if you can.)
> 
> Beta Reader: sentinelai (THANK YOU VERY MUUUUUCH!!!!)

Light loved the rain. He loved the _silence,_ because against the boisterous drops, everything else was engulfed by the rain. He loved listening to the gentle lashing of the wind, the _tip-tap-tip-tap_ of droplets from the roof to the ground and the soft splashes from paddles. 

And he needed silence, _desperately._   

 _Just this night,_ Light thought.  

Just this night, he would succumb to silence, he would allow the noises to slip away. Those noises that would always run around his mind, pacing but never clashing against one another because they were trained and organized by him —his plans, doubts, _lies_ _lies_ _lies_ and in the littlest corner, regrets. (But he had caged those, thrown the key away and forgot about their existence. They were ghosts that lingered around, hoping to be noticed but they were now illogical existence in his mind.) The whirlwind of words would be tamed, and then, he'd be bare.  

He would simply be Light Yagami.  

He was back to that person who persevered to be the best student in Japan, to be the best police officer, to be the son that his father would be most proud of. He was Light Yagami, handcuffed to L as they pursued Kira. He was Ryuzaki's first friend, his best tennis partner, and his intellectual counterpart. 

 _'This is the closest_ _human relationship I've ever had,'_ Ryuzaki would tell him.  

Though Light knew, this might just be one of L's loosely spoken lies.   

Stepping on the damp concrete, just as Light expected, he saw L in the midst of the rain. He stood there, crossing his legs as he leaned his head on the metal. He observed L —funny how it was always the other way around, where deep black eyes would scrutinize him to the depths of his soul, always thinking, wondering of the mystery that was Light Yagami. _I know you_ _were_ _Kira,_ his stare would always say. ' _B_ _ut who are you now?'_ were the lingering thoughts in his eyes. L was comfortably alone. (He was always alone, until a certain boy, a certain suspect he'd been trying to unravel invaded his personal space. And Light thought, it was just. The damage was the same, but Light would suffer more, suffer _longer._ )  

Light relished the scene, noting his messy spikes tamed by the rain and his straightened stance. His face was solemn, a lost child who had found home in the rain and the somber sky. And he was as sad as the sky, longing for something forgotten. A childhood memory, perhaps? A person? Or maybe his past self. (Because humans would always forget about it. Basking into their evolution, to the beauty of the changes they experience. And then they'd crawl back and long for it, because this was not they want, wondering what went wrong, what happened, why did this happen to me. ' _I want to go back._ _'_ ** _'_** ** _There's no turning back.'_** ) This was the most genuine emotion he would ever see on L's face, and Light wanted to remember this forever, even after this night.  

Thoughts ran through his mind. _D_ _oes_ _he know?_ He thought to himself.  

He closed his eyes, losing himself into the lull of the rain.  

Kira was looming behind him, a constant presence, a constant reminder. He had the darkest smile, a poisonous smile that could destroy the whole place. He was silent, his lips quivering as he tried to hold back his laughter. And now it was his whole body, shivering uncontrollably. He held himself down, covering his mouth to maintain the stillness. _Too early,_ he said. But his eyes were glinting with the victory he'd soon drown himself into.  

 _Your victory,_ Light thought.  

And then there were footsteps. They were slow and bizarre, dragging every step _—L_ _azy as usual,_ Light thought _—_ creating small splashes of water. He'd heard these steps, etching this distinction into his mind once through the silence of his cell, echoing throughout its walls. And he thought they brought good things: that he was cleared, or that he could be freed. But that was just his optimism kicking in at the wrong time, which was just his naïve self. They just brought more suspicion. More taunts. More pressure on him to confess. _Who are you,_ were L's only words back then, leaving Light once again to be engulfed in the silence of those cold walls. Light had never felt more alone than he had at that time.  

"Light-kun," L called.  

He opened his eyes and saw L moving closer. He leaned away from the metal, extending his hand in an attempt to reach L.  

"Ryuuzaki, let's go back. You're already drenched." Light said, only because it was the standardized response of the concerned 'friend' he assumed himself to be.  

Light knew L would not oblige, and L knew Light wanted the contrary. It was funny, and at the same time, eerie. That they could understand each other even with simple non-verbal cues. Light could get inside L's mind, and so did he. And yet, they still lie to each other and continued to figure each other's thoughts. 

His hands were then captured by soft, frigid fingers.  A light squeeze, a small tug, and he allowed himself to be pulled into the rain. The first drops were unforgiving, the coldness caught him off guard, but still, he accepted them wholly. He stood there, feeling the rain as it kept pouring on him until he was soaked.  

A childish grin was plastered on L's lips. It was that smile that would irritate Light, and the same smile that he loved to see. Because it was the smile that would begin their little games. It was the playful sign of challenge from L. 

He looked into L's eyes, and he saw conviction veiling all his doubts, his hesitance, his regrets, and fears. He saw a thin light of hope that he could change something.    

"Dance with me and pretend the world does not exist."  

 _And then, there's no going back, L._   

Half-smiling, Light raised one of their mingling hands as he held L's shoulder, assuming the female role in this dance. L followed, maintaining a straight posture, and placing his hand on his hip.   

L took a deep breath, and he began to sing. _"Ame_ _ame_ _"_ _—_ he led playful steps to the right _—_ _"_ _furi_ _furi_ _kaasan ga_ _~_ _Jan_ _—"_   

" _—_ _ome_ _de o-_ _mukai_ _ureshii na~_ "Light continued, following L's little hops.   

Because with L, one must expect the unexpected and Light had learned from experience to go along with every surprise. He would take the challenge  up a notch, because Light hated to lose.   

" _Pitchi_ _pitchi_ _chappu_ _chappu_ _ran_ _ran_ _ran_ _"_   

And then they were singing together, voices blending on an unusual mix; one monotonous, while the other was effortlessly melodious. 

 _"Kakemasho kaban wo kaasan no_   

 _Ato kara iko_ _iko_ _kane_ _ga naru_ _"_   

Light loved the vibrations of L's voice tickling his senses. It was the sound that reigned over the boisterous rain. _I_ _t_ _sounds nice,_ he thought. Soothing, rather. Light would allow L to lean closer and sing to his ear.   

 _"_ _Pitchi_ _pitchi_ _chappu_ _chappu_ _ran_ _ran_ _ran_ _"_   

They were the raindrops on the river, softly bouncing, joining the stream. There were longer steps and more splashes, wider swings of their arms as their head bobbed and swayed to the lively rhythm of their song. Both would lead, both would follow, bringing them to different directions, circling and circling, and then, they'll be back to where they began.  

 _"Ara_ _ara_ _ano ko wa zubunure da_   

 _Yanagi no nekata de naiteiru_ _"_   

Light loved the feeling of their hair rubbing against each other's, or the gentle squeezes of L to draw him closer. And he loved the hand wrapping around his waist, personal space be damned.   

 _"_ _Pitchi_ _pitchi_ _chappu_ _chappu_ _ran_ _ran_ _ran"_   

They were synchronized. They moved as one and yet they were still gauging each others' movements, feeling each others' steps. Light thought, _'Ah, this is fun._ _'_ ,because with Ryuuzaki, _boredom_ did not exist. They co-exist to defeat this long lived enemy of theirs. Light felt like a kid again. Like those times when he would play in the rain with Sayu. Or when he would wait in his day care, looking up to the sky as he sang this song until his mother came.  

 _"kaasan boku no wo_ _kashimasho_ _ka_   

 _kimi_ _kimi_ _kono kasa sashitamae_   

 _Pitchi_ _pitchi_ _chappu_ _chappu_ _ran_ _ran_ _ran_ _"_   

From his hip, L's hand traveled up to hold his other hand. A wider grin was plastered on his lips and as he stepped forward. Light winced when he felt a weight against his foot. L looked down, mumbling a hurried, ' _sorry'_ all the while maintaining the mischief on his face. _Bastard,_ Light thought. L moved back, and he followed, creating a bigger space between them.  

 _"B_ _oku nara ii n da kaasan no_   

 _ookina janome ni_ _haitteku_ _"_   

 _"_ _Pitchi_ _pitchi_ _"_ —Light turned— " _chappu_ _chappu_ " —and then, it was L, turning slowly as he bit his thumb, staring up at their hands— " _ran_ _ran_ _ran_ _._ _"_   

They held each other. L squeezed him, slipping his fingers into the gaps. The long fringes were obstructing L's sight, and Light brushed them up. _'Y_ _our hair,'_ he explained and L was immersed in the movements of Light's hands, belatedly replying _'thanks.'_   

He saw his eyes and he found acceptance. Of his impending doom? Of the reality behind this curtain of illusion they still refused to reveal? Of the destruction they created for each other? 

 _Our game is ending, L._    

"Will you marry me, Light?"   

All of a sudden, there was nothing but _silence._ And Light loathed it, because in the absence of the noises, there was honesty.  

And then, the layers of lies he had enforced in his mind would be torn down. They were the lies that he poisoned himself with again and again, until they were the truths that only existed. One by one, they would be ripped from him and then, in his most unguarded state, in the silence of his mind, it would appear.  

Hiding his eyes beneath his fringe (because he couldn't trust the truth they would reveal), Light smiled, and it was probably the fakest smile he had worn. He withdrew the hand on his face, separating the other from L's grasp.  

A soft snort. "What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?" Light turned his heels. "Don't spout silly jokes all of a sudden."  

Light walked, clipped heels rushing to the shelter, L followed in his usual languid pace. Yet he was able to reach for Light's hand, interlacing their fingers once again. He allowed it, and continued moving.  

"I'm sorry." And he really was. An almost frown —or was it a pout?— was on his lips. "Everything I say is nonsense. Please don't believe any of it."  

He looked back, "C'mon. Let's just go back. We're both drenched."  

"It will be lonely, won't it?" L said.  

He paused, staring at L, confusion was probably written in his face.  

"Because you and I will be parting ways."  

 _Please don't let it end._   

Kira was cackling uncontrollably. He was probing, whispering over and over: _We win._ _He'll die._ _We'll_ _be god. Finally._   

 _P_ _lease, stay._   

* * *

His fingers were dancing ―slowly, ever so slowly― hovering over the black ink that marred the white sheet of paper. **‘** **L L** **A** **W L I E T** **,** ’ it said. _Hasty fingers wrote them,_ he observed, swiftness driven by desperation. _Desperation for Misa_ _’_ _s li_ _fe,_ he added and smiled.   

He stared and stared at the name, because it still felt unreal ―even when he saw everything, when the most crucial forty seconds of his life unfolded before him ―his halted words, his limped movements, his body on the floor. He remembered cradling him and he felt cold, almost dead. He remembered staring at him, how their eyes reflect the other: _is this real?_ He remembered that defining moment when ―finally, yes, _finally_ ― he won. And before his life was robbed from him, before L closed his eyes, Light smiled: _I_ _win, L. I am justice._ It was the best gift Light could ever give to his enemy before he departed. Because it would be too unfair not to.  

“Lawliet,” he tried to speak, albeit his Japanese tongue had pronounced, ‘ _Ro-ri-e-to._ ’   

Victory tasted _so_ good. It was sweet, it was bitter, and simply addictive. _Liberating_ , he thought. He fingered the name letter by letter. _It is real,_ he thought.  

“L Lawliet,” he tried again, this time the name rolled more pleasing on his tongue.   

 _Beautiful name_ , he thought. Wouldn’t it sound lovelier to speak of it again and again in his presence? Oh, how he wished he could. Just like how L would call him by his name, _Light-_ _kun_. It sounded more endearing, more intimate. He liked it.  

“We could have been partners,” he gave a rueful smile ―memories emerging at the word, ”friends for real, ” he continued, then his brows burrowed and his lips curved down, “or more. I wanted _more_ , really,” he whispered to no one.   

The name was still there, as if the name alone had the power to confront him, and it seemed too proud before him. 

“But you defied me―” His eyes are narrowed, he hissed, “―the god of this new world.  You always do even from the beginning. You never acknowledged me.”  

“Lawliet~ “ He said, his voice lacing the sweet venom it always has. “My dear Lawliet~ ” he shifts, lying on his side. _L’_ _s side_ , he thought. He remembered the warmth that used to reside there beside him. He filled the cold, empty side with his arm, dragging the black notebook with it.   

“I didn’t have a choice.” His fingers caressed the sheets, “ You should know.” He clenched the blanket, gritting his teeth, “You always _know_.”   

He pretended L was there, he was _always_ there.   

“I would not discriminate my judgment to anyone if they defy me,” he said, tone low.    

 _Will you marry me, Light?_   

There was the gentlest of voice ringing in his ear. It was that late night whisper he'd hear when L thought he was asleep. It was that elegant silhouette he'd see at dawn, no crouching or thumb biting.   

He closed his eyes, engulfing himself into the silence. Light was lifeless, staring into the void. He hugged his knees to his chest, as close as he could, rocking back and forth. He was mumbling incoherent words and when he listened closely, he realized there were only two words repeating on his lips:  

 _"I do,_ _"_ He said.   

And then he rolled, hugging the notebook in his arms, _like how he cradled L in his death._   

"I do. I do. I do. Oh, _god,_ L Lawliet. I _do_."  

In this silence, the truth had _died_ permanently.  

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know it’s pronounced as Ro-rai-to but I still think Light would pronounce it as Ro-ri-e-to bec L is not there to correct him. *cries* I’m amazed how drama!Light got it right on the first try when all my life i read it as lo-li-et. lol
> 
> This is my first LawLight fic so don't be shy to tell me your honest opinions and your favorite parts~ Thank you very much!


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